alone again...

Well I just had my family here from aussie for like 3 weeks. I only really spent time with them for one of them tho but i spent so much time with them that i have become so damn attatched to them all and saying goodbye to them this morning was so damn hard for me. Im still cut up about it.
Heres a little something about each of them.

Aunty Brenda - she is having her problems at the moment and she has always had her problems with me and shes taken some anger out on me while she was here, but i know she loves me and i love her too. She is such a sweet person and im gona miss her.

Glen (Brendas fiance) - All i can say is wow, hes a great guy and my aunty is so lucky to have a guy like him in her life. Hes funny and nice and he can muck around with me. I think he may like me more than sum of the other kids here because he seems to get along with me better to the rest. Im looking forward to having him in my life.

Melissa (my cousin) - Shes great! she was ALWAYS there for me wen i was down, she always made me happy. Sure she can have her bad moods but so does everyone else. I miss her alot coz she always knew the right things to do or say. She will always be my favourite cousin and i really cant wait to have her back in my life again.

Sheena (my cousin) - Sheena is so funny and fun to be around, i have never found sum1 who can just have a straight out good laugh like i can, but thats her. She does everything her way and i admire that because its always the kinda way that i wud do things. I wish i had more time with her but i cant wait til i see her again.

Aaron (Glens son) - Wow... amazing. He is the best person i have met in a long LONG time. We have so much in common... and he actually likes the same music as i do, it is so hard to find sum1 like him!!! And ive found him, and god am i happy i cud b blessed by getting to no someone so great. Every minute we spent together was full of fun and excitement. Hes just an amazing, sweet, fun person. I dont no wat else to say except god hes the best.

Well i know it seems stupid missing them like hell wen they havent even been gone long, but i just felt a sense of belonging with them all, and thats a feeling i havent felt before. This is why im going to Aussie at Christmas for 2 months. And im going to look around at jobs and schooling so maybe i can move there half way through next year... its a massive decision but after actually being able to fit in with my family for once, i wana always be able to fit in.
  • Current Music
    Kittie - Oracle

update time again

well its holidays!!! YAY!!! and i have been working my ass off! i worked friday, saturday, monday, tuesday, thursday(today) then im working: friday, saturday, sunday, monday, wednesday!!!! and this week i have a total for 44hours to work!!!!
and last tuesday i FINALLY got trained for box office (where you sell the tickets)!!! its so fucking awesome i love it!!

me and nath keep in contact but i havent seen him in like a couple of weeks... yeah i miss him alot but and i get told i cant dwell on it.

I REALLY hate my mum rite now, she is so fucking annoying me and isnt even feeding me so i have to use the money i own to buy my own groceries... Ive been trying to get away as much as i can but it dont work that well...

Me and Zac had this massive deep conversation last nite and it really hit me! we were talking about life and death and everthing in between and what we hate in our lives, i wish so much i cud turn my life around and start fresh with certain things. I also realised i still miss alan, always will. I still wish my grandad was here. I miss kyle, i miss his company and all that.

but yeah i spose i cant change wat has happend i can only try improve wat may happen in the next years!!

ok thats me for today!
  • Current Music
    NIN - getting smaller

:(

ok nathan decided he doesnt no me well enuf to go out with me so we r gona be frends and see where it goes from there.... only problem is that i like him so much that im so fucking scared im going to ruin it for myself!!! i really hope not, hes one of the nicest guys ive met...

btw do u like my new layout?
  • Current Music
    avenged sevenfold - chapter four

(no subject)

OMG!!! Nathan asked me out and i said yes and i like him sooooooooooo much but guess what?

he read txts on my fone from wen i was fucking with a guys head because he was easy and it was funny how he responded and also txts confronting james about fucking my best frends girlfriend!!! fuck the ones to james seemed like i was pissed off that he was sleeping with chris' gf bcoz i wanted him but really it was coz i was upset for chris, and i wanted to get the truth out so chris didnt have to be hurt nemore!!!
and the txts to greg i didnt mean hes not my type, he actually scares me alot! but he was like "man im horny" and i thort haha its funny if i fuck with his head and i did.... not thinking that it cud result in so much pain..

anyway last nite i stayed with nathan and it happend to be one of the best nights of my life, he is the sweetest guy in the world, i like him so much... i was so happy all night being with him, and we had sex and it was the best ever and the whole night was just so amazing i felt so special to have him as my bf, considering i hadnt liked ne1 this much since alan it was so amazing.... i really felt as if we cud have a future... until he read my txts now hes rethinking our relationship... i dont wana lose him, i want a real chance with him to show him im not like that... anyone please tell me what i can do not to lose him, im already hurting so bad i dont wana hurt nemore!!!!! i just wana be happy with him again, and you all no im not a liar and a cheater right?

Tina xoxo
  • Current Music
    Weezer - Beverly Hills

(no subject)

hey all just another random update agen...

friends...

my best frend virginia has been having sum emotional problems with her ex lately but i try to be there as much as i can even tho i feel like im not doing enuf, i really wish i cud help her more.
im really happy coz misha FINALLY talked to me about her problems and now i have sum kinda idea of what shes going thru and i can kinda help her, not as much as i like to but ill try.
I met zacs gf shes really funny, nice and pretty, im so happy for him coz he deserves someone so good and she is perfect!
kamma has been worrying me lately, i feel helpless because i cant even give him nething more than words on a screen. kamma please take care

my love life and guys...

i realised my ex is actually a fag after all and i remember why i left him a year ago... so yeah hes outa the picture..
i saw ben (the guy from england) it was good, we kinda did stuf... but we aint gona go out or nething was fine with me i kinda dont like him in a bf kinda way

aaron is getting more obsessed with me and its kinda scary he duznt understand i just cant do another long distance relationship since the last one hurt so much, i do kinda like him and he is coming to see me in the holidays but it doesnt mean nething,
I met this guy who lives down south in the weekend, we kissed... he was really bad at it too but man was he hot lol... it was just a once off and it was just a kiss

ive met these 2 new guys, greg and sean and they r both real nice... sumthin cud happen there but i duno ill just see what happens...

School and work...

I still love my job, but my hours arebeing cut even more since the new seats are being put in the cinemas. I wudnt leave my job tho i love it too much.
Ive been attending school regulary now, changed my english class and i love my new one and i changed outa history to learning solutions which is where i can do all my catch up work. so its all good :)
With orchestra we are now having sunday rehearsals thanks to the production bein in like 4 or 5 weeks. im playing piccolo in all the pieces except one but its coz its a mellow piece. we have a camp next weekend, but im gona b lonerd since sara isnt going, ill just have to hang round with bex.

Others...

I saw mr and mrs smith last night its such an awesome movie, i wana see it agen and u see its ok for me since its free lol... Lately ive been soooo into avenged sevenfold and ive kinda been obsessing over zacky vengeance... hes HOT! lol and i just love his hair... so ive kinda been attracted to alot of,... "different" guys lately lol especially ones with colourd hair hehe.

well i think thats about enough for me now :)

Tinaka
xoxo
  • Current Music
    avenged sevenfold - chapter four

update

hey everyone just a random update...

i got drunk in the weekend and fell off a flying fox fort onto my back so i didnt go to work so no money for me for 2 weeks... i am now sick coz we got drunk outside and ive been throwning up everything ive eaten since sunday night...

it sucks i hate being sick,

im starting to like aaron more but the only problem is a guy i had a major crush on for ages, ben has come back from england and i saw him the other day and we talked on msn everyday since then and im gona see him on thursday afternoon... ughhh confusion is back again... especially my ex... ok i hadnt talked to him in a year and i met up with him the other night and i remembered why i liked him

for ages i was saying how ugly he was but he was just such a nice guy to me and ugghhhh i duno how he feels about me but i dont think i like him i think im just confused coz of the whole situation..

im finally going back to school tomorrow, should be fun even though im still sick...

oh yeah my aunty was here on the weekend she THANKFULLY has realised that im now a good person and is no longer mean to me
shes really nice i missed seeing her, i really wana go over to brissy and visit her sometime....
anyway i beta go to bed or sumthin, for sum reason im kinda depressed and i duno why, its the first time in ages

Tina
xoxo
  • Current Music
    Weezer - Beverly Hills

New Love (my song i wrote)

well i thought i would post the song i wrote, its not very good its actually quite crap, but wait theres more, i didnt just write lyrics, ive just finished writing music to it, and im gona get virginia to sing it so i can record my first song :)

Let me know what you think!

so here it is:

~New love~

[Chorus]

Lost something so close to my,
Heart and soul.
Never felt like I could carry on.
But then I found someone to care,
Now hes my brand new love.

[Verse One]

Never thought I'd get this far,
Thought that frown was here to stay.
'Til one day I met this boy,
And my troubles flew away.

All my tears of loneliness,
Have been whiped away.
Now I'm left with happiness
With my new love.

[Chorus]

Lost something so close to my,
Heart and soul.
Never felt like I could carry on.
But then I found someone to care,
Now hes my brand new love.

[Verse Two]

Used to have a broken heart
Tearing away at happiness.
Now theres no more pain,
And no more tears.
Because I'm with,
My new love.

[Chorus]

Lost something so close to my,
Heart and soul.
Never felt like I could carry on
But then I found someone to care,
Now hes my brand new love.
Now hes my brand new love.
  • Current Music
    Christina Neale - New Love (just music)

stuff

hey! i actually did pretty well in my exams, well i think i did anyway... but right now im so terribly grumpy....

my aunty from aussie and her partner are coming to nz for the weekend and i HAVE to have dinner with them friday at 8, and i just have to b rostered to work from 8:15, and i cudnt find ne1 to work for me so i called work and then no1 answered so i had to leav a msg but LAST time they never checked, and i cant get outa this dinner and they will try say that i cant get the night off... so yeah im kinda stressed over what might happen...

me and mish had the awesomest time today... we got sooooo hypo we bought like $5 worth of lollies hahaha it was so hilariously funny!!!!

in the weekend im gona get drunk with virginia, mish, zac and caitlin, its gona b so awesomafied!! coz we r gona get drunk on the beach hahahahaha!

anyway yeah i love my new car its awesome!!!!

i love my job, i love my life.... i only need one more thing and then i will have a perfect life... and thats a bf

im kinda starting to fall for aaron more and more... its kinda scary really! but hes so nice, and sexy hehehe....

ive been thinking alot about my past bfs and seeing what ive done wrong so now im sure im ready to make a commitment to someone new and im sure this time it will last

ill update agen soon
Tinaka xoxo
  • Current Music
    Christina Neale - New Love (thats right i wrote my own song)

(no subject)

i just wanted to enter and say hey everyone hehe if u thort something was wrong coz i havent entered ur wrong nothing interesting is happening...

ANYWAY...

i got exams next week! wish me luck! ill need it... im gona fail music im hard out studying because i missed so much class and i need to make it all up

and btw im gona get really stressed in the next 2 months coz orchestra production has just started so its sunday practices and during class practices and a weekend practice and so on as well as work and catching up on school so please bare with me

ill update agen soon

Tina xoxo
  • Current Music
    NIN - getting smaller

meme

-If you could be any ANIMAL in the ocean, what would you be?
a monkey :) or a chicken, both good :)

B- Other than food, what is the last thing you BOUGHT for yourself?
my nose piercing

C-What COUNTRIES have you been to?
Australia, and New Zealand obviously

D-What is your favorite ride at DISNEYLAND?
havent been :(

E-Do you believe in ESP?
Nope.

F-Have you ever FAKED an orgasm?
yup... haha

G-Have you ever fired a real GUN?
no... im still yet to feel the thrill of that

H-Regarding surfing, do you know what the term "HANG Ten" means?
nope... what does it mean?

I-Is Michael Jackson INNOCENT or GUILTY?
I used to stick up for him, now its beyond beleif so guilty.

J-Do you wear JEWELRY?
yah-huh

K-Have you ever KILLED an animal?
never :)

L-What was the LAST thing you mailed?
my applicationg for my job 3 months ago

M-Who is your favorite MUPPET character?
gonzo!

N-Have you ever been to a NUDIE bar?
Nope

O-Regarding ORAL sex, would you rather give or receive?
boths good :)

P-Did you attend PRESCHOOL?
nooo

Q-Do you know what a QUAHOG is?
no idea

R-Have you ever RIDDEN a horse?
yup

S- Have you ever played an organized SPORT?
ummm, netball, and touch and basketball

T-Do you owe or are you getting money back from last year's TAXES?
i get around $500

U-Do you own an UMBRELLA?
Nope

V-Do you exercise your right to VOTE?
eh?

W-What's your ideal WEATHER forecast?
sunny and hot, with sun showers

X-What was your last X-RAY u had taken?
ummmm my foot a few years ago

Y-Do you own a YELLOW shirt?
yes *hides*

Z -How many ZIP/POST codes have you lived in?
1 woppeeee
  • Current Music
    akon - so lonely